Drunken Speech
by vodkaholic
Summary: Bits and parts of drunk verbiage exchanged between, about and to the Marauders and Lily Evans. Drabbles, semi-stories... Humor? Possibly minor foul language.
1. Ridiculous! They Don't Serve Women!

Disclaimer: not mine

**Disclaimer**: not mine.

**Drunken Speech:**

Ridiculous! They Don't Serve Women?!

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James & Sirius

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They were already drunk when they had entered the pub, stumbling in through the entrance with an arm slung around the other's shoulders.

"—An' tha's when he pulled 'is wand out and yellered '_Abracadabra!_'—as if that were a real incanta-incantation—an' a load o' flowers an' chocolates flew out an' hit her in th' face!" Sirius exclaimed, slurring his words and roaring with laughter.

Everyone in the pub would probably think they were loony if they were actually paying attention, considering they were in Muggle London tonight.

James didn't respond, instead opting to laugh uproariously beside him, honey and brown swirled hues twinkling mischievously as the bartender approached.

"Ah, 'ello, 'ello go'geous!" Sirius cat-called, whistling below his breath at the woman.

"What's yer poison, fellas?" she asked, winking provocatively at Sirius.

James simply rolled his eyes at Sirius, responding for the both of them, "Two whiskeys would be smashing, darling." That same old self-confident, arrogant smile was flashed.

Sirius was turning on his stool, stopping to lean back on his forearms against the bar. He was examining the pub, assessing the female population and the rest of his surroundings. He was oblivious when the lady had returned with their drinks, Marisa she had said her name was, for he was staring stupidly at a sign.

"Oy, mate," he elbowed James roughly, nodding in the direction of a particular sign, "It says they don't serve women 'ere! Wha' kind of bloody joke is tha'?! Now wha' are we supposed t' do? I didn't bring me own!" Sirius moaned, pouting. He looked remarkably like a dog.

James followed Sirius' gaze, chuckling in mixed amusement at the sign. Turning back to Marisa, he slipped her some Muggle money and winked roguishly. "Don't mind me mate here, he's just a wee bit tossed."

"Ridiculous! They don't serve women?! Preposterous! I'n't that th' whole point of a pub? Liquor and gals?" Sirius repeated, shaking his head in disappointment.

Sirius brightened, "Well Jamesies… Looks like we need to find us some ladies! Th' pub 'as a decent 'nough supply, y'know…"

"Well, I don't need to find a gal, I'll have you know… I've got my Lily-flower right here!" James moved to drape an arm over her shoulders. Of course, it fell flat back against him. Lily wasn't there! "Oh, no! I lost me Lily-flower!" he blubbered, crying out with a horrified look across his face. Arms flailed all around him, as if she was somewhere near and unseen, and his face shook to and fro wildly as he searched high and low for Lily.

"Does it still counts as havin' brought yer own if ya find yer bird 'ere?" Sirius mused, completely oblivious to James' dilemma. A girl caught his eye and he stumbled over to fetch her.

"I lost my Lily-flower…" James repeated, falling back onto his stool dejectedly.

**A/N**: _Random inspiration from one of my icons... and a sudden image of James pouting over his lost Lily-flower. Thought I'd test the waters. I'm not too sure with how happy I am with this bit, considering I feel like I strayed off subject and left it rather abrupt… but I thought if Id wrote more it'd feel too long and strung out. Again, I'm afraid I don't have a close friend to review my work for me before I post it...Any criticism/advice is well appreciated! Enjoy!_


	2. My Lilyflower! Where Did I Lose You!

Disclaimer: not mine

**Disclaimer**: not mine.

**Drunken Speech:**

My Lily-flower! Where Did I Lose You?!

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James, Sirius & Lily

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Sirius and James stumbled right back out of the pub, only this time a little more forcefully. Before, they had been a little drunk, now, they were _very_ drunk. Sirius was giggling like a little school girl—or rather, boy—as he slung an arm around James shoulder. Working together, they attempted to walk towards their flat.

"Do we go left or right, again?" Sirius asked, his head swaggering left and right.

"Left, I think," James answered, moving in that direction.

"An' so she whispered in m'ear dat she wuvers me locks and she 'ad 'er hand graspin' m'left buttock! I think she liked me, mate!" Sirius blubbered to James, continuing his story.

"I lost m'Lily-flower," James wailed in response.

A shrill voice stopped their drunken banter, "James Edward Potter! Are you drunk?!"

Both men stopped dead in their tracks, mouths slightly agape as they quickly turn from side to side in a weak attempt to find the loud monster. Suddenly, fiery red flames came into view, accompanied by an equally fiery face.

Lily stopped in front of them, her hands on her hips as she awaited some sort of reply.

"M'Lily-flower!" James exclaimed in delight, "I've found you at long last! Where did I lose you?!"

James dropped to his knees before lily, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head against her stomach. He closed his eyes, murmuring, "M'Lily-flower…"

"Lilykins? What are y'doin' ere? Whatever it was, I swear it wadn't me!" Sirius proclaimed, cowering and attempting to shield himself behind the nearest light pole.

"Oh, for the love of Circe! What has gotten into the both of you?" Lily sighed, albeit exasperatedly. However, she patted James' head fondly.

"Come on, sissy, get up. Come one, up, up! Sirius, get over here. NOW." She exclaimed, pulling James up and tugging on Sirius' sleeve to get him away from the light pole.

James stood stupidly beside her, swaying back and forth. Sirius, however, was stubbornly holding onto the light pole.

"No! I won' let y'take me! Y'can't have me, mad woman! No! Unhand me y'foul beast!" Sirius shrieked, trying to fend off Lily with a foot.

"Merlin, don't make me force you Sirius Black!" after he kicked her in the shin, she was forced to take action. She casts a freezing charm on Sirius and snatches his collar while her wand hand grabs onto James arm as he begins wandering away. Before either can somehow manage to break lose, she apparates to Sirius' flat.

**A/N:** _I'll be honest, I actually had a bit of fun writing this one. I'm a little unhappy with it, still… but oh well! Hope you enjoy!_


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